I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
