Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Use "feeling words"
Yay
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
