How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
