can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
