you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
