This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
