So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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