he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
