Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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