I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
