she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
