Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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