jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
