i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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