Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Who died my cat blue again?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
