Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
