@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
