just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
