Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
