Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
