I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
