You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
