Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
