if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
