I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
