just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize