ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
