Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
