I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
