can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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