; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
