We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
