I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
