i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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