There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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