Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
