There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
