I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize
