Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
