I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
