they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
