please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
