it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
