Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
