I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
jump out the window naked night went bad
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
