Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
