yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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