Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
