I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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