so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
So gin and wine won't be happening again
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Is it penis luge time yet?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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