Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
