Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
