the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
