im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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