We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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